When I left college it became perfectly clear
I needed to earn money to buy women and beer
I formed a plan to get an occupation
But just for the summer was my expectation

I wished to work and also to learn
And of course I wanted money to earn
I stumbled across Severn Trent
That's where I decided my time would be spent

An accountant I did yearn to be
So the finance department I came to see
I passed exams and they paid me more
Some papers were hard and made my brain sore

As I worked, I counted beans
Messing with figures to provide the means
To determine whether it be profit or loss
I even made coffee sometimes for the boss

From nine to five on any weekday
With access and excel you'd find me at play
Producing models and spreadsheets with glee
Analysis and interpretation is what excited me

At weekends I do like to get high
As I take to my plane in the Warwickshire sky
Soaring with eagles in the heavens above
A passion for flying is clearly my love

I know people get thrills from many things
My kicks comes from a set of wings
Viagra and such could not be wronger
Glider pilots stay up longer

I've spent some time working in countries afar
Such places where instead of the car
The mode of transport is the horse and cart
Where ours and their cultures are worlds apart

In Transylvania I plied my trade
And for that I'll say I was handsomely paid
The money was needed to allow me to hire
Protection from the curse of the Vampyre

I've never really been politically correct
I think its clever to swear
I've enjoyed what I've done over these many long years
When I started I actually had hair

So after nearly thirty years
Its time to change direction
I will look back on my time here
With the greatest of affection

Now the time has come to say goodbye
And I must admit there's a tear in my eye
But onwards and upwards as we pilots say
I thank you for your best wishes as I go on my way

Richard Maksymowicz (Maks)